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  We sat and waited. Nick didn’t come home until nearly dawn. We were all almost asleep on the couches when he showed up. He was livid.

  “Who the hell are these people?” he roared.

  “Nick,” Carmen began. “You have to leave.”

  “Like hell I do,” he said and peered over at Duncan. “What’s that son of a bitch doing in my house?”

  Duncan nearly smiled. Carmen got in front of Nick and tried to lead him away. But he was glaring at Duncan, and at the two men. He was looking for a fight and he got one.

  “Nick, just go,” she pleaded.

  “Get off me, woman,” he said and pushed her away from him. She fell to the floor. I went over and helped her up, glaring at Nick. I hated him so much. I wasn’t used to that emotion, but where it concerned him, I liked having it.

  Duncan watched all of this. He didn’t like what he saw—his prized star being treated like some like some dog. He didn’t like the woman he loved being humiliated. He disliked Nick probably more than I did.

  Duncan stood. “You have one chance to leave now and leave peacefully.”

  “Fuck you, little man.”

  “No, I don’t think so.”

  Nick stepped to him, then swung. Duncan ducked and the two men were on Nick like wild beasts. I held Carmen, who began to scream and try to get at them.

  “Leave him alone!” she screamed.

  They began beating him; they were beating him like a dog. No, like he was worse than a dog, like something worthless. He was on the floor and they kept at it. I won’t go into any more details than that, lest I upset you too much, but it was horrific.

  Carmen screamed and ran over to them, trying to make them stop. One of the men grabbed her and forcefully put her on the couch. She hopped right back up and began to beat his back. Duncan walked over and took her arms and pulled her way.

  “Get off me!” she screamed. “They’re hurting him! You told me they wouldn’t hurt him!”

  But Duncan was pulling her away and out of the room. She continued to scream and beat at him as best she could. I looked over at Nick, knowing that I should have never called Duncan, knowing it was my fault. Nick was on the floor, unconscious.

  “You can stop now!” I screamed.

  One of them looked at me. “You better hurry along now. We’ll clean up the mess before you get back.”

  “Are you going to kill him?” I asked, shocked.

  The other one said, “No, but after we’re done, he’ll wish we did.”

  Nick never bothered Carmen again after that.

  With kindest wishes and warmest regards,

  Ms. C.V. Weeks

  * * * * *

  September 2nd

  Dearest Marabel,

  So, that leads us up to the point where Nick left. I must say, it was one of the most difficult times on my life and in Carmen’s.

  While I was still hurting over her, she was hurting over Nick. I tried to be her shoulder to cry on but it’s hard when you’re in love with someone who’s in love with someone else.

  The dynamic between us became all too apparent to me one day when we were sitting by her pool. It was a beautiful day and the sky was so bright it was almost glaring. It was hot, in the summertime.

  “Nick always loved the pool,” she said and began to cry.

  “Come on,” I muttered. “It’s been three months.”

  She cried harder. “And it doesn’t get easier.”

  I sighed. She was right about that.

  “I miss him so much,” she said, hugging her chest. “I ache, Cadence. I ache.”

  I ache, too, I thought bitterly. But I hated to see her like this, so I said, “Why don’t you find him, then?”

  “I tried,” she said and began to sob. “They made him change his name!”

  “What?”

  She nodded. “I went to Duncan and told him I wanted him back and he said, ‘Good luck finding him, that boy’s gone and changed his name on you. You’ll never find him now.’”

  I sat up and stared at her. “Why did they do that?”

  “Because,” she said, drawing in a breath. “They don’t want me to be with him.”

  What she meant was, Duncan didn’t want her to be with him.

  “I saw him on the street once after that,” she said. “Did I tell you about that?”

  I nodded.

  “And I yelled, ‘Nick!’” she said. “And he turned and got this really hurt, stunned look on his face and walked away from me.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t know he would go that far.” But, honestly, I think I did. I hated myself for it, too. What good did it do? It just caused even more misery.

  “You should have!” she screamed at me. “You know how much power these people have in this town! Everyone is in their fucking pocket!”

  I cringed. As I’ve said, I was very naïve and never fathomed something like this happening. I was also ashamed that I had instigated it. I just thought Duncan would talk to him and scare him away. I didn’t know they would beat him and take away his identity. I didn’t have a clue.

  “I’m gonna get him back,” she said, nodding. “I’m gonna find him and convince him to come home.”

  I stared at her. It was the first time I’d ever felt any real sympathy for her situation. She was in love with him and I should have just kept out of it.

  “Did you see what they did to him, Caddy?” she asked, her eyes wide. “Did you see?”

  Oh, I saw what they did to him all right. I had nightmares about it, if you want to know the truth of the matter. It sickened me. It still does.

  The maid came out onto the patio and called, “Mr. Avery is here to see you, Miss Carmen.”

  Carmen groaned. “Tell him I’m not here!”

  But he was already headed over to us. We stared at him, then glanced at each other, then back at him.

  “Hello, ladies,” Duncan said, smiling.

  Carmen glared at him. “What are you doing here?”

  Her hateful look didn’t dissuade him. “Oh, just came by to see my favorite star.”

  She scoffed. “Get the fuck out of here!”

  He stopped and took her hand, then bent to kiss it. “I’ve got something for you.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Hello, Caddy,” he said as if this was the first time he’d noticed me sitting here.

  “Hi, Duncan,” I mumbled.

  He turned back to Carmen and pulled out a script. “The best script I’ve read in years. Charlie Marsh wrote it.”

  I cringed. Charlie Marsh had been my mentor—I might have forgotten to mention this. He was also my lover. He was the biggest and best writer in Hollywood. He had told me when I started, “I’ll help you with your writing,” which is the worst thing you can ever say to a writer. I didn’t take it as an insult back then because I didn’t know how condescending he was being. But now looking back on it, I take full offense. I was just too inexperienced at the time to notice the condescension.

  Needless to say, he had risen in the ranks and was now a very powerful producer. However, he still wrote occasionally whenever the inspiration hit. He was very talented and made the studios a lot of money, which gave him license to screw around as much as he wanted and he wanted to do it a lot. He even screwed around on me. But I was too much of a fool to ever care. He was a pompous bastard anyway, so it really didn’t hurt my feelings. I was actually relieved when he broke it off.

  She took the script and tossed it on the table as if it didn’t interest her at all. Any actress in Hollywood would have been champing at the bit for a script like that. She didn’t care, though. She didn’t care because she had a broken heart.

  Duncan smiled at her. “So, I thought we could go out to dinner tonight.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Caddy can join us, if she likes.”

  I didn’t like. I didn’t want to be seen with him.


  “I’m not going out with you,” she told him. “And I wish you’d stop asking me.”

  He took the other chair, which I’d had my foot in. I jerked my foot back and glared at him.

  “Let’s make this short and sweet, shall we?” he began. “I helped you out. I went to great lengths to help you out. Now, I want you to go to dinner with me.”

  “Why?”

  “Because…” he started but stopped.

  She stared at him.

  He continued, “Because you should.”

  She scoffed. “Why should I?”

  He leaned in towards her. “I’ll only say this once. You don’t have a choice. You can make this easy on yourself. You can show me a good time and you can have a good time yourself. But you need to know that from now, you and I will be together.”

  She slapped him. “Fuck you.”

  He didn’t even wince; it was almost like he expected it.

  “I’ll go to Andrew Millsap,” she said.

  “I already have,” he said, smiling.

  I couldn’t believe him. I had thought when he divorced Andrew’s sister that Andrew would kick him out, but he hadn’t. I am sure Andrew Millsap was happy he was no longer related to him, but that didn’t stop Duncan from succeeding even more. Duncan had become an even more powerful player, mostly due to his work on Nervous Tension. (That irony has never been lost on me.) But why was he doing this? Well, the reason was obvious. He still wanted Carmen and now was his chance to get her.

  “I’ll tell you once, little man, and I’ll say it fast,” Carmen said. “Get your ass out of my house and don’t come back.”

  He leaned back as if he didn’t have any intention of leaving, ever. “I like you, Carmen, I always have. But you’ve teased me long enough. Now it’s time for you to pay the piper.”

  She laughed. “Oh, I get it. Oh, sure. Fine.”

  He eyed her.

  She shook her head. “Alright. If I don’t go with you, then what? Do I lose my place at the studio? Then my home, eventually my reputation? All my money? Do I lose everything, Duncan?”

  He smiled slightly.

  “Then you can have it.” She stood and exited into the house like the star she was.

  He turned to me. “Tell her I’m not kidding. It’s time she and I were together and I won’t stop until we are.”

  I glared at him. “She’s not a piece of meat.”

  “Everyone’s a piece of meat,” he hissed. “Some people just don’t know it yet.”

  Really, he was right. I hated that he was right, but he really was, especially in Hollywood.

  Carmen might have been rid of Nick, but now she was indebted to Duncan and he planned to collect. And she had everything to lose if she didn’t start seeing him. Carmen liked where she was. She liked her big house, her clothes and her cars. With no other alternative and even though Duncan had already told her it was pointless, she went to Andrew Millsap about Duncan and was told, “Go out with him. Do it for me.” She was in a pickle, as they say, and finally relented. Besides, what would a few dates hurt? She thought she could go out with him a few times and then be rid of him. Of course, this was not the case. Remember, she was a big movie star by then and Duncan liked to show her off to his friends and other industry insiders. He liked knowing she was with him now. She allowed this, but refused to let him sleep with her, at least at first. But he persisted and wore her down. Soon she conceded to even that. She gave him what he wanted. Everything but her heart.

  She didn’t make it easy for him, though. She belittled him. She told him how she despised him. She’d try to break it off occasionally. Sometimes, I’d witness it. Once, they’d had a dinner party. It was late and most of the guests had left. I stayed around to help clean up. I was going back into the living room to say goodnight when I heard them. I stopped in the hall and saw their reflection in a mirror that faced the doorway.

  “I’ll never love you!” she screamed at him. “Never!”

  He stumbled back as if he’d been slapped. “How can you say that?”

  “How can you expect me to? Look at you!”

  He cringed.

  “You’re not half the man Nick was.”

  “Did he have a big cock, is that it?” he asked, enraged.

  “Much, much bigger than yours.”

  “You fucking bitch!”

  “You fucking small, small man.”

  He raised his hand to her. He dropped it. She chuckled.

  “Ah, well…” she said. “There you go. What’s after that? What kind of misery do I have to look forward to, Duncan?”

  “Why can’t you love me?” he asked. “You make everything so ugly, even the love I have for you.”

  “I wasn’t meant to love you,” she said. “Don’t you understand that? We’re not meant to be together. I can’t love you, Duncan!”

  “Why?”

  “Because I can’t,” she said. “Why can’t you see that? My heart belongs to someone else.”

  He became angry. “Keep it up, girl, and I’ll find that son of a bitch and finish the job.”

  Her face dropped all anger and emotion and was replaced with sheer terror. “You wouldn’t!”

  He nodded. He had her now and he knew it. “Oh, yes, I would. I should have finished it that night.”

  She stepped away from him. “Duncan, why are you doing this?”

  He stepped to her and traced a line with his finger on her arm. “Because you belong to me and me alone. Once you realize that, you’ll love me.”

  “I won’t ever love you. I hate you.”

  “You hate me now. But soon, you’ll love me.”

  I was sick. This was a much, much worse situation to be in than the one she’d been in previously. Without telling them I was leaving, I opened the door quietly and left. I wish I’d never seen the exchange that had gone on between them.

  I guess after a while, Carmen and Duncan became a real couple. He’d broken her down. He’d given her everything—a house at the beach, diamonds, everything. She allowed him into her life, into her bed because she didn’t have a choice. She was imprisoned by him.

  But, looking back on it, she didn’t have it that bad. She was given everything she wanted and had a man who worshipped her. No, Duncan wasn’t the man she loved, but he would have done anything for her. And she got to pick and choose the roles she wanted. It was a much better life than what she would have had if she’d moved back home to Tennessee. But she just couldn’t see that. She wanted everything the way she wanted it. She was stubborn and a little short-sighted.

  It made me a little sick, to be honest. I was in the middle of it, having to hear about it all. It was a place I despised being in, mainly because I knew if it were anyone else, I would have told them to shove it. But she had an effect on me, one I am still reticent to acknowledge.

  “If I could just make him hate me, he’d leave me alone,” Carmen said one day.

  “He’ll never hate you,” I said. “The harder you try, the more he’ll love you.”

  “Why?”

  “That’s the way it works,” I muttered.

  “How much money do you have?” she asked.

  I thought about it. Actually, I rarely spent any money, or at least none I didn’t have to, mainly because I was never that interested in material things. Sure, I wore nice clothes and lived in a nice house and had a nice car but I never overspent on anything and saved a lot. So I had quite a bit. I told her what I thought I had. She smiled, nodding.

  “I’ve got at least that,” she said, becoming excited. “This life is not worth the hassle anymore. I want out. Will you come with me?”

  “Where?” I asked.

  “We’ll go to Mexico, to that little place we went once. How about it?”

  I smiled and put my arms around her.

  “Only one condition,” she said and hugged me back. “That Nick comes with us.”

  I moved away from her.
I was never enough. Never. I mumbled, “I don’t know.”

  “Listen, if we get down there and spend everything, Nick knows how to get us more money. We need him.”

  I did have my trepidations about the plan but I just went along for some reason. I didn’t know it would actually come to fruition and, when it did, I was just happy to be with Carmen.

  So we made our plans, secretively. We didn’t tell anyone. She was just about to get some big bonus from the studio, so we had to wait for about a month. And when she got it, we packed everything up and we left. But without Nick, but that’s another story. We’ll save that for later, Marabel.

  With kindest wishes and warmest regards,

  Ms. C.V. Weeks

  * * * * *

  September 9th

  Dearest Marabel,

  We had the best time in Mexico. We were there for about a month or so when we were visited by Herbert. Herbert had been sent down to plead with us to come back.

  “I ain’t going back,” Carmen said, shaking her head.

  “You took that bonus to star in your next picture,” he told her. “If you don’t go back and fulfill your obligations, they will sue you for breach of contract.”

  She shook her head. “I don’t care. Let ’em sue me and I’ll go to the papers and tell them I had to be that little man’s whore for over a year.”

  He sighed. He looked older, tired. He was both. I felt my heart reach out towards him then. I wanted him to feel better. I wanted everything to be better. I didn’t know how to make it work, though.

  “Caddy,” he said, turning to me. “She needs to do this. She needs to go back.”

  I had to agree. She couldn’t just do anything and everything she wanted. The studio would not stand for it. I knew they had a few tricks up their sleeves to get what they wanted out of her and they wouldn’t hesitate to employ them.

  “Give them the money back, Carmen,” I said.

  “I can’t,” she said. “I spent it.”

  “On what?”

  She shrugged. “I just spent it. Besides, it wasn’t that much.”