Complete Unknown Page 10

  “You got me lunch cooked?” he asked.

  “No, I haven’t,” she said.

  “You’d better hustle your pretty ass over there and get me something to eat.”

  “I’m not your maid!” she snapped.

  “Who says you’re not?”

  She hauled back and slapped him. He grabbed her hand before she could do it again. That’s when I realized part of the violence probably came from her. She was always ready for a fight, perhaps because of her childhood. I looked away, not wanting to be any part of this. It was too much for me. I still don’t like to think of it.

  “Alright,” he said. “No need for that. Maybe Cadence would like to cook for me.”

  I just stared at him.

  He shrugged and grinned malevolently. “Well, then, maybe I’ll just go hungry.”

  “Maybe you should,” I said and stared him dead in the eye. “You don’t want to get too fat in Hollywood. No one will eat lunch with you if you do.”

  He threw his head back and laughed loudly. “You’re right, Cadence, you’re so right about that.”

  Carmen watched our exchange then shook her head. “Come on, Caddy,” she said and held out her hand. “I want to show you this new dress I got.”

  I took her hand while glaring at him and we went upstairs and into her bedroom. I took care to keep my eyes off the bed, which was still unmade, and followed her into her dressing room. She had an enormous dressing room, very tastefully decorated. A vanity with a mirror which was lit up with lights. One whole wall was covered with shelves for her shoes; the other was where she hung her clothes. She pulled out a beautiful black cocktail dress.

  “Here, try it on,” she said.

  I smiled and took it. “This is beautiful.”

  She nodded. “Yeah. It is. Try it on!”

  I undressed, noticing her watching me. I could tell she wanted me still. But, she would never make a move, especially if Nick was in the house. She came over to me and zipped up the back of the dress. I stared at myself in the mirror. Yes, I looked good.

  She smiled at me. “You’re just…beautiful.”

  “Thank you,” I said and smiled back.

  “Caddy,” she said, settling on the chaise. “Let me ask you something. Why didn’t you ever become an actress?”

  “Because I’m terrible at it.”

  “There’s nothing to it,” she said and lit a cigarette. “You could have done it easily.”

  “Maybe. Maybe not,” I said and sat next to her. “I can’t act and I can’t sing. That’s just the way it is.”

  “You sing fine,” she said and touched my arm, staring into my eyes. “You’re cheating the world, sweetheart.”

  I shook my head. “It just never interested me.”

  “What does interest you?”

  I didn’t have a chance to answer because she leaned in and kissed my arm. I shivered from the touch of her lips on my bare skin and I shivered with lust for her. I pulled away and muttered, “Don’t.”

  “Why not?” she murmured, putting out her cigarette.

  “Because…” I said. “You know why.”

  “Why?”

  “Because you…you’re taken.” I stared at her. “And he’s downstairs. What happens if he comes in on us? What would happen then? Would he hit me, too?”

  She shrugged and shook her head simultaneously. “He’s not doing that much anymore. Besides, for some reason, he’s really become obsessed with you.”

  I just stared at her. I knew this already. I could tell it, the way he talked to me, the way he tried to touch me whenever he could. It pretty much disgusted me to have him think of me in that way.

  “Don’t steal him away from me,” she teased and smiled a little. “He would go with you in a heartbeat.”

  I had a feeling he would, too, the bastard. I didn’t say that, though. “I could kill him in a heartbeat,” I said honestly. “I hate him so much I could kill him. If he ever touched me, I will kill him.”

  “No, don’t say that,” she said and sighed. “He wants you. It’s not that big of a deal. A lot of men want you, you know?”

  They did. I liked men, I really, really did. But I liked her, too. Which confused me a little. But she had some sort of power like that. I don’t know what it was about her, but she did. “I would never sleep with him,” I told her. “Not in a million years.”

  She grinned. “He knows that, too, and that’s what makes him want you more. You’re smart with men, Cadence. You always were. A lot smarter than me. You know what drives them crazy is the fact that you won’t let them near you. That you won’t let them have you.”

  “They’re just men, Carmen,” I said. “That’s all they are. They’re not that hard to figure out. In fact, they’re one of the more base animals on the planet.”

  She laughed and shook her head. “You… You! Oh, you!”

  “It’s true,” I said.

  She stared at me, not getting my meaning. “I guess.”

  “You shouldn’t let him treat you like that, though,” I said. “I don’t want to get into it again, but you shouldn’t. You deserve better. He acts like you’re his property.”

  “He doesn’t own me,” she muttered. “Never has, never will. It’s just this attraction between us, that’s all. We have a big attraction. Sometimes it’s like that.”

  “I know,” I said and stared her dead in the eye. “I’ve felt it myself.”

  She squirmed a little in her seat, then touched my arm. “I have really and truly missed you,” she said.

  I nodded. I’d missed her too.

  She put her hand on the back of my head and pulled me to her. Our lips grazed. I’d missed that feeling so much. The shivering, the anticipation. I’d missed her.

  We began to kiss. Her hand was on my breast, then we heard a noise. We looked up and saw that Nick was standing in the doorway. He was grinning at us, loving to watch us.

  “What do you want?” she hissed.

  He unbuttoned his shirt and then pulled it off and walked towards us. “You know what I want,” he said, pulling me up.

  I tried to break free, but he had a tight grip. He bent and tried to kiss me but I clawed at his smug face, trying to get away.

  “Leave her alone!” Carmen screamed.

  “Come on, baby, let me kiss you,” he said to me, ignoring Carmen. “Let me show you how I keep her satisfied. Let me show you what I can do. She always comes back for more and there’s a reason. You’re just confused. Let me straighten you out. You won’t want no other woman once I’m done with you.”

  He was so crude. I slapped him, but he didn’t let up. I screamed, “Let me go!”

  He turned to Carmen. “You know, we’ve always talked about it, why not try it?”

  Her face flushed. “You bastard!”

  I stared at her, at her face. Her betrayal was obvious. He knew everything! She’d told him everything! That’s why he was so obsessed with me! He thought he could have me and her. At once. That’s what he wanted. He didn’t want us together. He wanted us with him. And that really, really angered me.

  He turned back to me. “Yeah, she told me everything, got me so hot thinking about you and her. Together.”

  “I hate you,” I hissed. “Let me go!”

  Before he could respond, she picked up a vase and crashed it over his head. He howled with pain. But he did release me. I stepped away, glowering at him. He was bleeding. He was glaring at her.

  “Get out!” she screamed at him and pointed at the door.

  He recovered quickly and he was now stalking her like an animal, walking circles around her. I didn’t know what to do. She almost laughed. Then she took off and ran out of the room. He chased her. I followed and stopped to see them at the top of the stairs fighting with each other.

  “Let me go!” she screamed.

  He tried to pull her back but she got away and ran down the stairs and into the sitting room
. I followed them there to see that she had tripped over the rug and was on the floor, her head bleeding from the fall. Nick looked momentarily shocked, stared over at me, then raced to her. He gathered her up and began to whisper in her ear.

  And, no, he didn’t push her. She really did trip on her own.

  I must stop now. I’m getting very tired and hungry. I will write more later.

  With kindest wishes and warmest regards,

  Ms. C.V. Weeks

  P.S. Thank you for the kind words on these letters, but no, I have no wish to publish them in any way, shape or form. Please do not ask me again.

  * * * * *

  August 30th

  Dearest Marabel,

  We were at the part where Carmen fell. It was not until it was all over, all said and done that I fully understood the dynamics of their relationship.

  While violent, they did love each other. He did beat her, occasionally, and she, occasionally, beat him. They were always at each other. Both had come from abusive homes and that’s all they knew. They didn’t know how to show their real love without displaying a little violence.

  At the time, I did not understand this at all. I didn’t think then that love could exist in the confines of a violent relationship. Many times she told me, “I asked for it,” and I hated to hear those words. But looking back, I sometimes wonder if she did ask for it. It was almost as though she would purposefully provoke him. It was the damndest thing I’d ever seen. It’s like she knew which buttons to push to get the reaction she wanted. She was using him in this way. I think she wanted to pay for her success, for being such a huge actress and she used Nick to do that. She lowered him, she really did. Sometimes, he would try to stay out of her hair if she was in one of her “moods,” and she would push him, push him into doing something. In her mind, I’m sure, she felt she had to push him, to make sure he was still interested in her. She never felt she deserved love. If he was violent towards her, then showed his love afterwards, then she felt worthy. It’s like she couldn’t feel worthy otherwise.

  Needless to say, they had a very sick relationship.

  So, therefore, I could have never given her what she wanted. He did because he was a naturally abusive bastard. It was sick, really, but that was the dynamic of their relationship. Who am I to judge it? For them it worked. As sick as it may seem, they made it work.

  I think, eventually, their violent behavior would have stopped. They did have an enormous sexual tension between them. If you’d been around, you would have felt it. I know I certainly did. It made me sick because I was so in love with her myself. She would tell me about their sexual dealings, quite explicitly. I didn’t want to hear, but I believe when they made love, they had a good time.

  So, yes, they did love each other. It’s not a love many people could bring themselves to understand. In hindsight, I wish I had understood it. Then I could have moved on. But it was clear that they were meant for one another, as they say. They were soul mates. They did have fun, they did laugh. But their relationship was from hell.

  After that incident, I hated Nick even more. And it was primarily my own jealousy, my own inability to see things clearly that made me hate him. If I could have stepped back, I could have seen what she was doing to him and that was using him to make herself pay for her success. In hindsight, he probably wasn’t as bad as I thought. I knew about how she threw things at him. I knew about her rages. I knew about how low she could get, about things she’d say to him about growing up in the slums, which was a lot worse than her own poor childhood. I knew she sometimes belittled him. I just didn’t understand it. My parents fought, sure, but they didn’t hit and they rarely spanked me or my sister. I didn’t understand violence or where it came from. I just didn’t. If I had, I could have understood Nick more and maybe I could have let Carmen go earlier than I did.

  Psychologically, I don’t suppose she had matured enough to realize there could be love without violence. Today, we can go to therapy and sort all of this out and we can get better. Back then, if you went to a psychologist, you were considered to be crazy. She would have never even considered it. She didn’t think there was anything wrong with her.

  And, maybe, there really wasn’t.

  As I said, I might have been able to help her through it if I hadn’t been so in love with her, if I hadn’t hated Nick so. But I only hated him because of her. After a while, I did sort of begin to like him, though I would never let it show. He could be quite charming when he wanted to be. And those looks didn’t hurt, either. So, after a while, I did let my guard down a little and found out that not only was he a handsome thug, but he was also a great dancer. Not only that, he could tell a joke better than any comedian. But, most importantly, he loved Carmen. He loved her without hesitation. He loved her so much, which should have made me happy, to know that she was experiencing that emotion, that someone gave it to her.

  But I felt I should be the only one to give it to her. I was very immature. I didn’t realize, you can love two people at once and if I had relaxed a little, our affair might have continued.

  But that old emotion, jealousy, would not let me rest. It would not let me allow her to live her life. I feel as much to blame for that as anyone. We only realize these things afterwards. We think, If only we hadn’t been so short-sighted. If only… If only we could see what needs to be seen.

  I was always trying to convince her to get rid of Nick but it never took. She would never see beyond what they had. Love is very insular. We don’t see what others see when we love someone. We only feel our emotions. We act on them to gain their love, to contain it.

  And the press they got didn’t hurt her box-office, to say the least. He was so handsome and she was so beautiful, they garnered attention everywhere they went. Everyone wanted to know everything about them. Of course, they only gave the world the nice, clean version and sometimes, “details” to their upcoming nuptials, which, of course, never happened.

  Their relationship continued for more than a year. And the drama that came along with it got really old, too. I would be called in the middle of night, when I was sitting in a rehearsal, when I was working, sleeping. The calls came whenever she needed me and I would always answer them.

  “Come over, come over!” she would wail.

  As I said, it was becoming very tiresome. But I’d go sit with her and let her cry on my shoulder. Nick would come home, they’d fight, they’d make up, then I’d end up sleeping in a guest room.

  “He’s gone,” she said on one occasion.

  “And he’ll be back, won’t he?” I said, crossing my arms.

  She looked at me so pitifully then. Tears were streaming down her cheeks and her make-up was running. I wanted to touch her, hold her, console her. But pride wouldn’t let me.

  “Caddy,” she cried. “What am I gonna do?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know, Carmen. What are you going to do? Are you going to let him beat the hell out of you from now on? Are you going to let him steal your looks, your life?”

  “Hell no!”

  “Then you better do something,” I told her.

  “What can I do?”

  “I don’t know. Get rid of him!”

  “How?” she wailed.

  “Tell him to leave.”

  “Do you think I’ve never done that?!” she snapped. “He won’t go!”

  “Why should he?” I hissed. “You let him reduce you, then you take him back and forgive him for what he’s done to you!”

  “I know,” she muttered. “I know.”

  I took her arm and pulled her in front of a mirror. “Look at you! Who the hell is this person?”

  She shook her head. She didn’t know how she’d gotten here. How could she have let herself stay in a situation like this? She was a movie star! Millions worshipped her.

  “We’ll call Duncan,” I said. For some reason, I thought Duncan would help us. It was my biggest mistake. But I didn’t know what else
to do, who to turn to. Duncan, while being a little on the strange side, had redeemed himself somewhat. He had backed off Carmen and seemed to be over her. He was a busy producer at that time and I was getting to be even more successful. I thought he’d moved on. I’d thought he’d moved on mainly because Nick had confronted him once at a party in Malibu and told him if he didn’t stop calling Carmen he’d find himself in a hole in the desert. I guess that had scared him straight.

  “Why?” she asked.

  “He knows how to get things done, that’s why.”

  She stared at me. “Really?”

  I nodded. “You want to do it or not?”

  She sighed. “I can’t live like this anymore.”

  I touched her face. “I’ll call him.”

  So, I did. I never should have, but I did. What I didn’t realize was that Duncan was furious at what was happening. He knew about their relationship, about the violence. Also, he was still in love with her. He said he’d be right over. He arrived later with two big guys.

  “Who are they?” Carmen snapped, pointing at the men.

  “They’re going to help you, Carmen,” he told her. “May we go into the living room?”

  She nodded and we followed her into the living room. Duncan sat, lit a cigarette and motioned the men to sit on the opposite couch.

  “What are you going to do to him?” she asked suspiciously.

  “These guys here are going to have a little chat with him.”

  She narrowed her eyes at them. “Then what?”

  “They will escort him off your property.”

  She nodded. “They won’t hurt him, will they? I don’t want him to be hurt. I just want him to be gone.”

  “Of course they won’t hurt him.”

  She seemed relieved. I wanted them to hurt him, to hurt him like he had hurt her. While I had warmed to him a bit, I still loathed him, too, mainly because I wanted her all to myself. I didn’t say that, though, but I did feel it.